September/October 2009

Now What? Navigating Difficult Times
By Carol S. Heape, MSW, CMC
Aging Well
Vol. 2 No. 4 P. 6

Susan’s mother was leaving the hospital after a bad bout of pneumonia. Her 84-year-old mother lived with her husband in their own home. Susan’s father was 86 and slowing down, too. The doctor had talked to Susan about the couple needing more care. She wanted to help them herself, but she had a job and responsibilities in her own family. Although her parents hadn’t said much, she had a feeling the economy had hit her parents’ retirement savings as it had everyone else.

Alice and Jim, Susan’s parents, were very worried. Retired for 20 years, they knew they could not return to earning wages. They relied on Social Security and the small pension Alice received from her years with the local school district. Their parents had died at the ages of 70 and 74 so, in one respect, they were surprised to find that they both were in their 80s and in relatively good health. “It feels like a double-edged sword,” Alice said quietly as her husband sat close by. “We’re so lucky we’re as healthy as we are, but we’re worried about our money running out.” With a candor that belies her age, Alice went on to say, “We’re afraid to spend a dime. We’ve lost so much, and it [money] has to last.”

Of course, this conversation transpired between a geriatric care manager and the couple in the absence of their daughter. The family’s dilemma involves money, how to talk about it and how to stretch funds to work for the older couple who wishes to be as independent as possible but who, at this point, needs some help to remain that way.

Plan for the Future
The recent economic changes have affected everyone and remain in the forefront of people’s minds. For those older adults who are retired and have been for a number of years, it is a real possibility that they’ll outlive their savings. For some, that’s already happened. Plans to move closer to adult children or relocate to a retirement home or assisted living facility can be put on hold if the house doesn’t sell. Or worse yet, the move may have already taken place although the house is still on the market.

For those of us still in the workforce, it may be a stretch to think about the inability to get a job or return to the workforce if we choose to or are forced to. Jobs are scarce anyway and may be out of reach for older adults who must compete with younger and physically healthier adults who will work for less than older, experienced workers. Older adults in their 70s, 80s, and 90s may have been retired as long as their working years—or longer. With their advanced age and health issues, they are unable to work any longer. Having survived the Great Depression, they may have prior experience with scarcity or poverty. They know how to make do, get by with less, and not spend. The problem is that for many, they’ll not spend at all. And it often takes an emergency or an accident to motivate elders to spend for their own care. Many wait for a “rainy day.” It’s raining now, and it’s time to use those rainy day funds.

It may take a crisis such as a fall, a hospital stay, or a serious illness for the conversation to begin. In many cases, older adults could have used help previously. But they’ve resisted, and their families have backed off. They’re unfamiliar with elders’ financial situations and are afraid to ask. When a crisis occurs, families rally and make decisions. Mom or Dad, unfortunately, may not be included in the decision and, before they know it, their lives have changed drastically with huge financial ramifications.

Realistic Foresight       
With some thought and planning before a crisis occurs, older adults and their families can discuss finances. With losses in the stock market, increased healthcare costs, and significant hikes in the cost of living, this discussion is even more important.
Older adults should do the following:

• Think about how they want to age, where, and with whom.

• Initiate a discussion with their adult children about specific wishes. It’s important to share financial concerns or worries.

• Talk about money with their adult children to the degree that they need to know. There’s no need to assign power of attorney or allow them to take over finances, but adult children need to know where things stand.

• Familiarize themselves with services available through public and private programs. With government shortfalls, elders can’t depend on the government to provide everything.

• Live within their means without cutting expenses short. Spending in the short term will save in the long run.

• Recognize that obtaining help now can extend independence, although such help can be expensive. All other housing choices cost considerably more.

• Don’t wait until a crisis occurs.

Adult children should do the following:

• Recognize that their parents are getting older and will need help and support, if they don’t already.

• Encourage parents to talk about their wishes and needs.

• Do not try to take over. They may not agree with their parents’ decisions, but if they are competent to make those decisions, abide by them until they change their minds. Offer to help with little tasks.

• Look into community resources to know what’s available, the costs, and how these resources can help. Know that for many older adults, having help three to four hours per day several days a week may be all they need.

• Do not expect Medicare, Social Security, or public programs to take care of all their parents’ needs. These programs are helpful but were not set up to be the answer to everything.

• Consider a family meeting with a professional geriatric care manager who is an expert on these issues if there’s a need for help in sorting out complex or entitlement programs.

• Do not wait until a crisis occurs. They should begin working on this now.

— Carol S. Heape, MSW, CMC, is executive director of Elder Options, Inc., a professional geriatric management agency serving the Sacramento, CA, region.