Getting Older, Getting Better
By Roberta Karant, PhD

The third age is potentially the most vital and powerful time of life.

I discussed aging with Stefan Deutsch, a Gestalt psychotherapist and philosopher of human development and cofounder of Creative Aging, Inc, a nonprofit holistic educational organization. He has formulated a theory of life span, the Continuum Theory, and coined the phrase LifePro as a designation for those over the age of 50. He suggests the future rests in the hands of this population.

RK: Can you define Lifepro for us?

SD: I coined this term about 20 years ago to describe an individual who has fully developed his or her awareness; uses clear, conscious vision; can communicate in an inspiring way; and is able to love unconditionally. Just think what it would mean for us, the practitioners, to become LifePros and to facilitate our patients’ development.

RK: It seems you have a way of looking at the aging process that could help practitioners view their own aging differently, as well as seeing a potential for growth in their older client population in spite of possible physical ills or decline.

SD: Yes, I see the last stage of the aging process as potentially the most vital and powerful time of life. Even where there is illness, I believe that if people come to understand and expect that they can be the most effective at the later stages of their lives, they will look forward to those years and be more involved in taking care of their bodies and minds. In our society, as people grow older, they view themselves as more on the sidelines than as movers and shakers. People’s vision is to be comfortably retired, attending to their own needs, being helpful with grandchildren, and perhaps being active in some cause. The general view people have of aging is that we become physically weaker and decline in power, which I believe is the opposite of what nature intended for human beings to experience

RK: What did nature intend?

SD: Nature intended for human beings to continually develop their potential power until death, which would lead them to be more involved and more effective as years pass rather than less so. In my ontology the concept of power means becoming more able to inspire others toward the common good. It requires, among other things, the ability to love unconditionally. As we age, we are more capable of loving unconditionally.

RK: So how would this influence the way practitioners view themselves and treat patients and clients?

SD: By embracing this new perspective, we would continually be excited about the potential for our own growth and effectiveness. By applying this new approach, we can empower ourselves and those we serve.

RK: Can you elaborate on your new concepts of human development?

SD: My Continuum Theory goes beyond much of the work in the field of human development. It is clear that a 5-year-old can’t do physically what a 10-, 15-, or  20-year-old can do. As the body develops, a human being is capable of doing more and more. As one’s physical potential develops, the individual’s ability to be more effective in the world increases exponentially, bringing with it more satisfaction.

The same is true for one’s mental abilities. A 15- or 20-year-old can’t reason as well as a 30- or 40- year-old. As one’s mind develops, one’s capacity to reason increases and he or she gains more control over life, bringing with it more satisfaction.

Science has decided that only the body and the mind have this potential for development. The only thing the present scientific view of aging leaves us with is looking forward to decline in these two areas.
 
There are two studies that show the harmful impact of the negative societal views and belief systems regarding aging. One study, funded by the National Institute on Aging, shows that individuals susceptible to negative images of aging die 7.5 years younger than those without such images. The second study, published in the September 2004 issue of Psychology and Aging, indicates that people susceptible to negative images have a poorer memory retention rate and become frail sooner.

It is clear that negative views of aging have a deleterious effect and must be countered, which is what my life span theory does. I believe our journey for developing potential is not over at the age of 20 or 40. There are developmental areas that are neither physical nor mental. 

RK: What are these developmental areas if they are neither physical nor mental?

SD: There are four: awareness, conscious vision, conscious communication, and loving unconditionally, which most importantly includes learning how to give and receive love unconditionally. These are the four developmental areas of the self. I believe they are totally neglected from a developmental point of view.

RK: Many people say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

SD: Once this new vision of aging is disseminated, I believe enough people will want make it their own. The promise lies in finding true fulfillment and self-actualization. The good news is that creating a new vision begins to rewire the brain’s neuropathways. There is clear evidence that this new vision of learning and growth are available to all.

RK: I see how it could help not only individuals in their 60s and above, but also those in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

SD: Yes, built into this is a concept that will empower all practitioners to look forward to their own growth and development as they age. Once practitioners understand that this process is true for everyone, they can begin to interact with clients in a more positive and powerful way. What I’m talking about is really appreciating this stage of life as we have never appreciated it before—looking forward to aging as a time when we have the greatest potential to effect change. 

RK: Are you saying it is never too late?

SD: Absolutely. The earlier one starts, the better in some ways, but my theory also states that there is a readiness for this developmental spurt that makes it more likely and more effortless around the age of 40-plus.

RK: You talk a lot about love. It’s such a broad concept. Can you explain how you’re using it?

SD:  In order for our “self” to develop and come into its full power, it needs loving energy as a form of nourishment. Loving energies sustain and heal. The more love we are able to give our clients, the more they’re going to thrive and age well—and so will we. Jean Watson, PhD, a professor of nursing at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center, has done a lot of work within the nursing profession. She found the more nurses exhibited transpersonal caring behaviors, the better results in both well-being and satisfaction were reported by both nurses and patients. Transpersonal caring is one form of “loving energy.” I believe people need unconditional loving energy for their well-being and healing. 

Developmentally, the aging population is at a stage in the life cycle where they can give unconditional loving energy more effectively and consistently than at any other time of life. They become potentially our most important natural resource. Like machines need fuel to run, we human beings need loving energies to thrive. Loving energies are patience, kindness, acceptance, support, encouragement, understanding, compassion, etc. All these deliver a quantum amount of energy with each transaction that we universally value and need.

RK: How did you come up with this concept?

SD: I wondered why it hurts when someone raises their voice, looks at us funny, or doesn’t want to be our friend. Why do we feel such pain when someone isn’t nice to us and feel so good when someone is nice to us? Science allows us to state that events such as birthing, kidney stones, or black and blue marks hurt, are painful, and thus our responses to them are appropriate. But how can we explain someone crying because someone broke up with them? How do unkind words, criticism, or yelling hurt us? After all, there are no physical marks that we can see.

RK: I remember going through a lot of pain during relationship breakups. I never stopped to think why. It seemed so obvious. We all feel pain when people we love hurt our feelings or no longer love us.

SD: That’s it. I started to think about love as something real, not a notion like eros or agape or familial love because they are just names for examples of the way love is experienced in relationships. Romantic, self-sacrificing, or mother’s love doesn’t explain what love is. It just acknowledges that some unique exchange of energy is happening between two people.

RK: You say, “Love is real.” What do you mean by that?

SD: What happens when we receive love is that we thrive. What happens when we are deprived of love is that we feel pain or feel that life isn’t worth living.  Therefore logic tells me love is something real in a tangible, scientific sense. Then it occurred to me that there are other things we react to in exactly the same way. When we are deprived of oxygen, food, and water, we experience pain. When we receive them, we thrive and we feel energized.

RK: What is your definition of love?

SD: To have one simple, functional definition, I defined loving energy as “a consciously generated, positive, transferable, life-sustaining energy that can be given and received or withheld and blocked.”

RK: You work with a large population of adults. How do you apply your concepts when working with them?

SD: Many of my older adult clients have issues with their adult children, with siblings, with friends. They love them conditionally, meaning they withhold their love at times, and are being loved back conditionally. I believe that some of their physical symptoms and general well-being have to do with this conditional behavior. I ask them up front if they want to have closer, more loving relationships with their adult children.

The majority of relationship issues seem to revolve around the fact that most of us were loved conditionally. By that I mean we received love based on when we pleased our parents, spouse, and friends and were deprived of love when we didn’t please them. Now if love is a life-sustaining energy and we’re deprived of it, we are going to remember a lot of pain and most of us do feel that pain. That almost always led us to withhold our love as a way of getting back.

Another interesting thing became clear to me as I worked more and more with the concept of love being a life-sustaining energy. It is absolutely necessary for us to inhale oxygen, but what else is also absolutely necessary?

It is absolutely necessary for us to exhale. All life-sustaining energies are cyclical. Oxygen, food, and water must enter, be utilized, and exit for us to be healthy. If love is a life-sustaining energy, it must also be cyclical. It turns out that we need to give love as much as we need to receive it. When we withhold love from people for any reason, we are hurting ourselves as much as we hurt them.

— Roberta Karant, PhD, has had a long career as a sociologist and educator. She is currently a freelance writer focusing on human development.